The Stereotypical Rugby Player From Every Tier One Nation

Stereotypical Player: A supremely talented ball player and a convert from rugby league. He gives off a laid-back vibe when losing and a cocky vibe when winning.

Position: Back-three

After he retires: Becomes a z-list celebrity. Makes a cameo appearance on Neighbours and appears on the Australian version of Strictly Come Dancing. Slags off England (or the Poms as he 'hilariously' calls them) any chance he gets in the newspapers.

Stereotypical player: A player who spends most of his time fending off love letters from George Hook and other counter-intuitive pundits. He emits an Italian player's underdog charm but boasts far superior skill.

Position: Out-half

After he retires: Remains in France.

LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 25: Nicolas Sanchez of Argentina kicks at goal during the 2015 Rugby World Cup Semi Final match between Argentina and Australia at Twickenham Stadium on October 25, 2015 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)[/caption]

Stereotypical Player: English rugby has been synonymous with a brand of rugby dubbed ’10 man’ essentially involving the forwards chasing down kicks from the half backs. The typical player is a privately educated centre who has all the talent in the world - but doesn't get much of the ball. Probably has dated royalty and enjoys a beer.

Position: Centre

After he retires: Starts life as a pundit, talking about past glories whenever they have the chance, and competes on Celebrity Masterchef or Strictly Come Dancing or both.

Stereotypical Player: A changing creature, he used to be a raffish, compulsively unpredictable will o' the wisp. Now he's a bulky, stocky player who plays about 240 matches a year.

Position: Inside Centre

After he retires: Continues to smoke copious amounts of cigarettes and spends his time wrapped in a chic looking leather jacket, watching the Top 14 team he part owns huffing and puffing their way through another dreary but brutal encounter.

Stereotypical player: Another who has undergone an image change in recent years. His credo used to be best exemplified in that clip of Ciaran Fitzgerald asking everyone where they had mislaid their pride. Now, he's a 'product' of the 'Leinster academy' with a big social media presence and a large stake in an organic health food business.

Position: Back-row

After he retires: Bit of punditry, bit of business. Writes an autobiography with either Alan English or Brendan Fanning before finding himself at the heart of a Guinness advertising campaign.

Stereotypical player: A violent, lovable, neanderthal looking toiler who is as honest as the day is long. Possibly Argentinian.

Position: Back-row

After he retires: Remains in France most probably.

Stereotypical Player: A technically perfect, born to be a rugby player, did nothing else with his life, kid. Whenever he gets criticised, his countrymen react the way Eddie Keher does whenever anyone looks sideways at Henry Shefflin.

Position: Flanker

After he retires: Only returns to the public eye when a New Zealander commits a horrific tackle and he gives an interview defending him.

Stereotypical player: He used to be a sharp-witted rugby player/banker whose fiery anti-Englishness on the pitch was belied by his unionism and urbanity off the pitch. Now he's a talented player who tries far too hard. Very hit and miss sort of character.

Position: Fly-half

After he retires: Promotes Iron Bru and Whiskey.

Stereotypical Player: A hard as nails farmer who is revered as a ferocious scrummager. As soft-spoken off the pitch as he is a hard bastard on it, he is the essence of humility and eschews controversy.

Position: Prop

After he retires: Heads back to the farm and drifts into obscurity. His legend grows.

Stereotypical Player: A diminutive jinking wizard who flits in and out of tackles. In the 70s, he was a superstar, in the 90s, he was under-appreciated and had to switch to rugby league, and from the mid 2000s onwards he's been in an out of the side, often overlooked in favour of bulkier players.

Position: Out-half

After he retires: Likely to become a lippy pundit unable to tip a Welsh defeat in any game no matter who they're playing against.