REVEALED: If every Gallagher Premiership club was a Game of Thrones character
Rugby NewsMonday, 04 September 2017 at 10:28
Are we really doing this? In short, the answer is yes.
It’s becoming increasingly obvious that the vast Game of Thrones story arcs are stolen directly from the Aviva Premiership. The amount of beards seems to directly correlate.
This piece was inspired by an excellent article from FourFourTwo, which took the same concept and applied it to Premier League Teams. Gutted my team Newcastle was Theon.
Time to get on with the rugby version, apologies for what you’re about to read.
Bath Rugby - Sansa Stark
Stylish, elegant, visually appealing, with an illustrious heritage – and often within touching distance of power. Yet recent years have been painful and many loyal supporters wish she could have just one major victory. Always seems to be one step forward and two steps back with them.
Bristol Bears - Gendry
Tend to come in and out of the story quite a bit – vanishing for whole seasons in fact – but have cropped up again recently sporting a cool new look. Despite being of minimal importance to the plot so far, we reckon these strong, likeable boneheads are now here to play a key part in the battles to come. Or something.
Exeter Chiefs - Tyrion Lannister
At first glance, you might look at them and think they’re a pretty insignificant player in this wider game. Yet appearances are deceptive. They may not be glamorous or imposing in stature – but this is one of the smartest, savviest operators in the game. They've slowly risen to the top from seemingly nowhere.
Gloucester - Bronn
No fancy titles to boast about – and certainly not born with a silver spoon in mouth. Success in battles on foreign lands hasn't been a problem but at home, these brave, gritty operators have struggled to stand out among a large group of diverse characters. An outsider for the crown but their loyal supporters will back them to the bitter end.
Harlequins - Daenerys's Taargarian
Began the series with all the noble heritage and lineage you can imagine, yet – how can we put this kindly? For all that fine history – and some successes on foreign soil – they haven’t actually ruled as their loyal supporters would like. A few set backs along the way, progress towards the Iron Throne has become very slow.
Leicester Tigers - Jamie Lannister
Mega-rich, handsome, swashbuckling in style and the very best in the land at what they do in the early years. It’s no wonder they were/are so widely hated by neutrals. Yet recent years have been harder on them. Injuries to major stars make it like they're playing with one hand at times.
Newcastle Falcons - Arya Stark
For years, a ragtag, muddy-faced wanderer who was treated with general disdain. Yet something has changed quite dramatically in recent years under a new tutor, as the Northern warrior has turned into one dangerous customer to encounter. However, despite their newfound, nimble attacking skills, you get the feeling that they’re still an outsider for the crown.
Northampton Saints - Stannis Baratheon
Intimidating, foreboding opponent practiced in the art of war. Nobody looks forward to encountering their pack on the battlefield, but for all their military precision and toughness they often fall short. Not afraid to burn people on their way to the top either.
Sale Sharks - The Hound
Sweary, grumpy, rough-and-ready rogues who often seem to be their own worst enemy – but they boast a sort of gruff charisma. Would love nothing more to stick it to the Southerners they’ve played alongside for decades in the capital of KingsLandan.
Saracens - Jon Snow
Spent the early seasons looking grim in bad weather and generally being ignored by other richer operators – yet they do actually boast a glorious past heritage. Recent years have brought a steady rise in importance and stature (King and that).
Wasps - The Night King
Relentless, formidable, feared and loathed by the other major players. If you’re not a follower of this stinging terror, you probably want to see them crash and burn. The problem is that while there's often defeats along the way– they often seem to rise again, as powerful as they ever were before, sometimes in new locations with thousands of loyal supporters both old and new.
Worcester Warriors - Samwell Tarley
When they first came on the scene, they were no one’s idea of an elite-level operator. Despite claiming to be Warriors, we thought they won’t last long. Yet while they aren’t the most fashionable or physically dazzling, they’re cleverer and cannier than they appear. A low-key success story.
BONUS - London Irish - Davos
Cut a frustrated figure in recent seasons as – despite some popularity – they never seem to be on the winning side. However, there’s been a rise in rank recently, even as they face off against richer, more powerful foes. Relegated to a bit part character in recent seasons.
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